Thinking of You
by Leanna
Summary: When Remus is alone he thinks of Sirius. Companion piece to 'For Forgetting'. Implied SLASH. Remus & Sirius. Oneshot. Please RR!


**A/N:** Hey! This takes place the same night as 'For Forgetting' except it's from Remus' perspective. But it doesn't matter which one you read first. You don't have to read 'For Forgetting' to understand this story. It's not a sequel, just a companion piece.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Remus. But I really, really, really wish I did.

**Warning:** Implied slash. Angsty!Dirty!Remus.

**Rating:** M – For Remus' skillful hands.

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She whispered something else in his ear. He smiled absently, not really hearing a word she was saying. He was more concerned with what was happening up at the bar. Sirius was getting himself sloshed as usual and was currently shamelessly flirting with one of the locals.

Remus frowned slightly, subconsciously pulling the girl he was with closer to him in what small space they had in the cramped booth. She giggled as she pressed herself against his chest. He watched Sirius take another drink.

"I think it's time to head off." James said, wobbling slightly as he extricated himself from his bar stool. He nodded at Peter who looked as though he, too, was about to fall over.

"Aww, already?" The girl whimpered prettily, still pressed against Remus' chest.

He managed a half smile as he took her hand, pulling them both out of the booth.

"Sirius, you coming?" James asked, turning around when he realized they were one marauder short.

Truth be told, Sirius didn't look like he would make it back to the castle without some serious help.

"Don't worry." The girl he had been flirting with at the bar cooed softly, giving the boys a wry smile. "You go on. I'll look after him."

James looked to Sirius for approval of this plan, and Sirius gave a nod. It wasn't the first time they had gone out drinking and come back sans Sirius. But watching Sirius paw at his new playmate made Remus feel like he was about to be sick. He made for the door quickly, trying not to think of what Sirius and the girl would do as soon as they left.

To make things even more uncomfortable for him, the girl that he had come out with was still clinging to his arm as they made there way back to the castle.

"You know, you could always come back to Ravenclaw commons with me." She whispered as they reached the stairs to Gryffindor tower. She ran a hand up his chest suggestively.

"I'd love to." He lied, pulling her hand away gently. "But I think we've both had a bit too much to drink tonight. I'd hate for you to think I was taking advantage."

The girl practically melted in his arms.

"Remus Lupin." She murmured as she kissed him on the cheek. "You are a complete gentleman."

She gave him one last smile over her shoulder before she disappeared down the opposite corridor. The knot in his stomach loosened slightly.

But once he was back in the boys' dorms, tucked safely within his four poster bed, he still couldn't get the image of Sirius and his little bar slut out of his mind.

_Why did he let Sirius torture him like this?_ He wondered, running a hand through his light brown hair in frustration. _Why had he let himself fall in love with his best friend?_

He imagined Sirius lying in the bed next to him. Touching him, kissing him, looking at him the way that he had been looking at the girl in the bar. He tried to imagine what it would be like if Sirius was only his. In his mind, he pictured Sirius' hands roaming over his chest and slowly working their way lower on his body. He felt his cock twitch involuntarily at the phantom image.

He pulled out his wand and muttered a silencing spell on the curtains surrounding his bed. Then he slowly reached into his pajama bottoms, placing a hand around his already half hard cock.

He felt all at once pathetic and ashamed and desperately horny. He thrust into his hand again and again, frustrated tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn't imagine how Sirius would react if he knew what Remus thought of as he touched himself. He pictured Sirius' horrified expression and his tears began to fall more freely. He pushed harder into his hand, desperate for a moment of release. Desperate to forget himself, forget everything, if only for a moment.

After what seemed like eternity he finally came, spurts of semen falling on the sheets and on his pajama bottoms. He fell back onto his pillows, feeling sticky and sad and entirely unsatisfied.

He groped around for his wand and muttered a quick cleaning spell. But he didn't cancel the silencing spell he had cast earlier.

There were other things he didn't want his dormmates to hear, like the sounds of a lovesick werewolf crying himself to sleep.

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There you go. I know it had a different style/feel than 'For Forgetting' but I hope you enjoyed! Reviews are my oxygen.


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